Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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pudding

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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