"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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