You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Women's rights

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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