Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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My spelling is horrible

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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A child walks into a classroom.

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops