Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Click here to end the world.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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