Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops