How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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