Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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