why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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