roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops