Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

The bears will win the Super Bowl

I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

PENIS

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

No!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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