what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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they're dead. idiot.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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24

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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I'm Coming

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops