why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops