Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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matt is fat

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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