whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops