Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

thumb_up thumb_down -6

wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i lost the game

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops