What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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God

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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