Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

k

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops