What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops