a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops