Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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Worms don't like apples.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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