Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Justin Bieber

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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knock knock... ...no answer

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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