How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

whats worse than gill? nothing

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

Its true, he didnt write that!!

what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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