Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

your mom is so fat.

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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