Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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k

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops