when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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pudding

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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