Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops