Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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