Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Coldpaly is a good band

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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