A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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