one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

Where's Wally? In a children's book.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...