What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Sex

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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