What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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