whats long and black? a baton

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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