A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Women's Rights

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PIED NINNY!

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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