Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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