How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops