A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops