A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops