Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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