I think everybody should have a penis.

irish man drinking john smiths

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

Pickles

Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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