when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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25

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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