How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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The EPA.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Christianity.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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