Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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