I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Your mom is so old she died

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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