"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Sloths

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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