What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i have two hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Sloth runs...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops