How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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