A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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