Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Bob Saget

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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