Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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I read the terms of service.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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