Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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