Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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