I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Women's rights

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Penis

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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