Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Fat people

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops